just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
