I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
