have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
