and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
