Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
