but the lizard people decide everything anyway
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
