Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
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