this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize