I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize