Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize