Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
