We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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