we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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