somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
