he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
