I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
