He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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