Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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