gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
