im drinking this country out of the recession.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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