Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
