I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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