Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
