Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We left the knife in your bed.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
