why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he fucked my hip out of place.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
