I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
