I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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