he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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