and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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