why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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