At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
