He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize