Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
