I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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