Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
