is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Floor bacon is actually really good
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
