my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize