My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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