Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
