So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
