We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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