: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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