but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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