We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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