she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize