"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
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dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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