there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize