Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
did you just send me my own nude
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
