Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
