You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
