she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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