My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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