Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
