I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
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Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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