I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so let's talk penis.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
