I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
