So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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