I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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