also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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